Tag Archives: Vanderpump Rules

Whole30 Journey

I’m Baaaaaaaack!

Foraging for something I can eat

My cabinets are stocked with sweet potatoes and ghee. That can only mean one thing: the Bouses are back on the Whole30! And I’m resurrecting my blog. Boom! I wish I’d kept it up longer last year, but it’s a familiar pattern: I get all gung-ho about something, people like it, I pressure myself to make it better, then I get worried I’m not keeping it fresh, then I get resentful, and next thing you know, I’m setting small fires around town just to feel alive. Oh and we moved across the country.

We actually ate pretty close to Whole30 right up through July, when we moved from California back to my home state of Massachusetts. Between the move itself, adjusting to our new surroundings, and living within walking distance of a dozen kick-ass restaurants, the last half of the year we’ve fallen off the wagon. By December my pants were tight and I was routinely getting the meat sweats. Time to get back in gear.

So here we are! Yesterday, was day one, because yes, I’m that basic that I start a new diet on New Year’s Day. Breakfast was potatoes, eggs and avocado. I had the same thing today. For lunch I made turkey burgers without the buns and for dinner we had the ol’ standby Egg Roll in a Bowl. I’m thinking the mental toll won’t be as high this time around because I’m used to cooking this way now. Physically….we’ll see! I’m hoping to drop a few lbs but mostly I want to feel better and get some mad gainzzzzzzz at CrossFit.

In case it’s not painfully obvious, I’m not a medical professional or fitness guru. So take all of my actions with a grain of salt. But for those of you who aren’t familiar, the Whole30 is basically an elimination diet. No grains, gluten, dairy, legumes, soy, sugar, friends or fun of any kind. Additionally, you’re supposed to only eat meals— dishes that consist of about 1/3 protein, 2/3 veggies and a thumb-size portion of healthy fat. So if you’re hungry in between lunch and dinner, you’re supposed to have a mini-meal that follows that template rather than, say, a handful of nuts. Sometimes I’ll fudge that rule a bit and have a Lara bar or said nuts. Snacking is definitely my weakness though, so I try to really determine if I’m really hungry or if I’m just bored by the current storyline of everyone ganging up on James on Vanderpump Rules. It’s not about the pasta, LaLa! I hope he can turn it around…

Ok so this should whet your whistle for what’s to come! I’m going be real and say I’ll try to update daily but I might not. Bravo is not gonna watch itself. Here’s to 2019: to health, fitness, and boom boom shorts this summer!

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Tostones!

Exercise: CrossFit
Food: Over-easy Eggs with Sweet Potatoes and Bacon, Turkey Burger with Tostones, Pork Sausage with Sauteed Veg and MORE Tostones

tostones

I promise there’s a burger in there somewhere. And TOSTONES!

You CAN teach an old dog new tricks. This round has been a little like auto-pilot at times. I don’t have to read labels as much since I’m buying the same brands/items regularly now. And I have a few go-to recipes that I’ve memorized (and/or I feel confident about the flavors I’m trying to achieve that I’m not too worried about doing it exactly the same way each time). But, of course, the downside is that can lead to a little bit of food boredom. Enter Tostones.

I’d seen them mentioned a few times in the Whole30 Facebook group, but I didn’t really feel compelled to make them. Then, today I was at Whole Foods and I noticed some ripe plantains and thought “I should do something with those.” I searched “plantains” in the group and I was assaulted by all the raves about Tostones once again. So I fired up the air fryer, sliced up those plantains, and got down to business. The first batch turned out pretty well. I had them with a turkey burger, some guacamole, and Vanderpump Rules on the DVR. I made them again for dinner to impress my man and this batch was a little more crispy. Next time, I’ll probably experiment with some spices (this time I just salted them). Crazy!

I did CrossFit workouts Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and I succeeded in making every part of my body sore. It’s been while since I’ve felt this taxed by workouts, but it feels good too because I know it’s a result of working hard. Monday was the biggest challenge. The workout called for doing toes-to-bar in sets of 21-18-15-12-9. Toes-to-bar is when you hang from a pullup bar and, as the name suggests, you lift your toes to touch the bar. I hadn’t tried one in forever but I decided I was going to go for it. Well, it took me forrrrreevvvverrrrrr but once I realized I could do them, I was determined to do them all. I ripped a callus at some point too! It gives me street cred.

So…takeaways from these last few days: who knew a little plantain could serve up such mealtime realness?; no pain, no gain; wait- Stassi isn’t even 30 yet?

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Day 8: One Week In

Exercise: Barbell Club
Food: Scrambled Eggs with Avocado, Veggies and Salsa, Leftover Bolognese with Carrot Noodles, Leftover Egg Roll in a Bowl (now with more egg!)

Eggs with Salsa

What I lack in cooking skills, I make up for with my plating techniques

Today marks one week since we started following the Whole30. Boom! I think that pretty much makes me an expert? Maybe not, but I do feel that I have a pretty good handle on things. I went to the grocery store today (yes, another trip to the grocery store) and I had a much easier time reading labels and ruling out certain items. My biggest challenge is still cooking. I’ve alluded to the fact before that I’m not a good cook. And it’s not something I particularly enjoy. But I am proud that I’ve churned out some edible things and I feel like I’ve improved a little just by virtue that I’m cooking more daily than ever before. I may even foray into soups this week! Yeah, you didn’t think things were going to get so wild on this blog, so fast.

The Whole30 creators stress that it is not a weight loss diet. Though most people who can spare to lose a few lbs tend to see some good progress. So people aren’t encouraged to weigh themselves during the 30 days. But it’s so tempting! I do feel lighter– not necessarily weight-wise, but maybe I just have less bloat? Ultimately, I’d like to lose 40lbs, and I’m already thinking that when 30 days is up, maybe I’ll do another 30. Or add a macros counting component? But just like when LaLa dishes some hot gossip, I need to back it up! (Is two Vanderpump Rules references in two days too many?) One step at a time. I’m glad to already be feeling better, regardless of what the scale says.

I went to Barbell Club tonight instead of CrossFit. It meets at 7pm, so after I’d had all my meals for the day. I felt good! We worked on our Snatch. And Clean and Jerks. Those are real things. Man, things are getting wild tonight.

Enough about snatch work. Breakfast was…drumroll…eggs! Scrambled eggs with veggies, avocado and a nice salsa I found at Trader Joe’s to be exact. Quite good and satisfying! I’m trying to lessen my potato intake, and since I didn’t workout in the morning, I didn’t feel like I needed them.

For lunch I had some leftover Bolognese sauce over carrot noodles. I packed Biff the same thing for work, but he reports that the noodles didn’t reheat so well. Good to know!

Dinner was the rest of yesterday’s Egg Roll in a Bowl, this time with that aforementioned poached egg. I had to have Biff show me how to poach and egg so now I know. Ladies, find you a man who can handle eggs!

So…takeaways from today and a week of healthier, clean eating: if you practice anything enough, you’ll get better at it (ie cooking); no one likes a limp noodle, especially at work;  22 days to go!

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Day 7: Back to School

Exercise: CrossFit
Food: Scrambled Eggs with Potatoes, Onions, and Peppers, Chef Salad, Egg Roll in a Bowl with Apples and Almond Butter

Egg Roll in a Bowl

Egg Roll in a Bowl, on the Stove

It’s back to the grind in the Bouse House. My Kindergartener went back to school today following winter break. Even though he doesn’t start until after 9am, I still had to scramble (literally) to get a meal on the table for everyone, find his backpack, and pack him a lunch that I could throw away later when it would come home untouched. But we did it, and then I was faced with the prospect of four hours to myself. When he first started going to school, I would say I was paralyzed by possibilities. And when I couldn’t decide what to do, I would default to watching Bravo shows. I did a little of that today (WHEN is Schwartz going to stop cheating on Katie!? But she kinda deserves it, right?) but I hit the gym first. It’s all about balance, people.

I’m feeling pretty good today. I’m seeing more, miniscule improvements in my skin. My nose is looking dope. I’m pretty sure that’s something only Beyoncé and I say. Sleep has definitely improved, which helps everything of course. I went to my usual Monday CrossFit class today in the morning and I felt strong and steady. I really wanted to push my front squat a little but I decided to just do the suggested weights. Next time, front squat. Next time.

Breakfast was a quick mash-up of scrambled eggs, potatoes, onions, peppers, spinach and some avocado. I ate it while trying to explain to my son how to turn his pants right side out.

For lunch, I made a chef salad using some Whole30 approved deli turkey, avocado, peppers, tomatoes and hard-boiled eggs. The eggs were a great idea, until I tried to peel them. It took me approximately four hours. To do three. I even googled all the hacks. Sigh. And then my kitchen smelled like farts. Oh the things we do for protein.

And dinner. Oh dinner. My friend recommended Egg Roll in a Bowl, and I see it mentioned a lot in the Facebook group. So I gave it a whirl. It’s basically ground pork, onions, garlic, some spices and shredded veggies (coleslaw mix is called for, I used broccoli slaw because I couldn’t reach the cabbage slaw at Trader Joe’s) and then coconut aminos. It was really good! It was a nice change of texture and flavor. My hubs and I decided that when we have the leftovers, we’ll put a poached egg on top for a little more oomph.

So…takeaways from today: my nose skin is dope; those Vanderpump Rules kids could probably move out of those sad apartments if they didn’t go out so much; Egg Roll in a Bowl is a winner.

Grilled Cheese

Oh hello, butter, cheese and bread. Didn’t see you over there. I’ll never forget what we had. But it’s over now.

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